Communication

I think communication is such an interesting and confusing thing! In just a few words, you can build up or tear down someone. You can defuse conflict in a moment, provide comfort to a sufferer, or only deepen the wounds. Communication comes in many forms, including nonverbal (such as body language) and tone. But what is most interesting to me about communication is how differently we interpret one another's communication.

As I discussed in an earlier post about symbols, we each have our own symbols (or ways of interpreting the world around us) that we are familiar with. This may become a problem in our marriages as we communicate with each other. How we interpret what the other says (this is called decoding) may be different than what they really meant. Decoding is at least half of the problem when conflict arrives! Michael Williams, my teacher, stated that with those he counsels, most divorces derived from mis-decoding or misunderstandings. They were only misinterpreting the other's actions! We must be so careful to make sure we are clear in our communication and that there is full understanding of what we intend to portray to the other person.

Interesting fact: in communication, words make up only 14% of it. Tone is 35% while nonverbal contributes to 51% of our communication. Our actions alone make up half of what we are trying to say! This helps me to realize that words are not enough. How we just standing or looking helps hinder or improve my communication. Realizing this fact and improving this skill will help us become more clear in the ways be communication.